THE OTHER HALVES

The "Gulf Boom" from Kerala to the Gulf countries started in the 1970s and continues to the present day . The Gulf those days were a transforming  piece of land with a lot of petro dollars in their coffers. They needed  skilled and unskilled labourers to build their country. Mallu men, mostly with a matriculation pass or fail and a mind full of big dreams, packed their bags and left in search of jobs in the gulf. These pioneers, who had mostly come from impoverished families, mostly landed in menial jobs in the gulf countries. They struggled hard under the burning desert sun, building roads, working at the drilling sites and even working in  farms and cattle learning. Some started small businesses or tea shops. The salaries they got in  Riyals or Dirhams  seemed large when compared to the meagre amounts they would have earned for a similar job back home.  They lived frugal lives, sending most of their earnings back home to their families so that they could lead a better life.

 

( Photo courtesy : Manorama)

Women migrating without husbands are infrequent, but men migrating without wives are more the rule than the exception. It was  estimated that nearly a million married women in Kerala were living away from their husbands in the 80s. Many of the expatriates could not come home yearly  nor could their families join them them due to the expenses related to it.

 The hardships these wife’s of the 1970s or 80s  had to face back home have not been documented anywhere in detail.The husbands were just  visitors to the families for a few months in 2-3 years. But it gave the Malayali Gulf wives an opportunity to develop their talents, expertise, status and independence to their full potential. Management of income was a major added responsibility for these gulf wives. They had to follow the husband's directions and had to  keep the in-laws in good humour also using their managerial skills.

Their loneliness and added responsibilities never came in the way for developing an inner capacity to get things done, not only within the households but also in the community. The husband's absence, increased economic resources at their disposal, and the ability to communicate with people around, going to offices, to banks, to children’s educational institutions  etc became instrumental in transforming the shy dependent girls into confident, autonomous managers with a status that is equal to those of any man in the neighbourhood. 

Let’s not forget that, most of them were thrown into family life just after attaining womenhood and by 25 years they would be raising 3- 4  children in different age groups . But they were successful in  raising their children to become educated citizens who are mostly the educated malayalees  of today, especially in the Malabar area . These mothersdeserve recognition for their perseverance and determination. 

I salute the mothers of the 70s and 80s whom I see as the  harbingers of change in our society.